Purpose and Peace
by olivejuice48
Summary: Harry has started his search for the horcruxes. His lonliness almost threatens his sanity when he see's someone he thought he would never see again. Do unexpected things happen on purpose? Will Harry ever find peace or will it be his neverending quest?
1. Prolouge

Prologue

It was the first of September. Last year Harry would have been at King's Cross boarding the Hogwarts Express in a scuffle of owls' screeches and loud farewells from aunts and mums who had come to see students off. He would have been off to Hogwarts to greet N.E.W.T.S., Quidditch, and Dumbledore. This year there was no Hogwarts. This year Hogwarts did not exis tbecause the soul had been sucked out of it: Dumbledore.

This year Harry was far from home, far from anything familiar. He wasn't at The Burrow **- **and certainly not at number four Privet Drive. He had left there for good, but not before he'd made a short visit to collect his socks and various knick knacks. When he stepped off the Hogwarts Express even the Dursleys, who were usually oblivious to the wizarding world (or pretended to be), seemed to be aware of the sadness and gloom that rested upon all the students and their families like a fog. As students funneled off the train onto Platform Nine and Three Quarters, there were the tell-tale signs of deeply-felt emotions like tears of joy and sadness.

"Who died?" asked Dudley stupidly as they walked back to the car.

Harry clenched his fist but did not respond. The rear-view mirror glass cracked loudly and Uncle Vernon swore under his breath. In the past Harry would have panicked, afraid his uncle might have a temper tantrum but Harry was glad that his anger got the better of him this time.

Everyone was silent during the trip to Privet Drive. Once they got to the house they all sat down in the parlor. The Dursleys stared at Harry for the longest time until Aunt Petunia spoke up.

"We got the...erm...letter about the ...erm...closing of the...the school," she began nervously. Harry nodded absentmindedly. "So you are leaving for good then?" his aunt continued.

"Yeah, that's right," Harry answered.

The cries of joy and the jumping up and down with happiness that he had expected did not come. "They must be waiting until I leave," he thought. The conversation lapsed into silence again and Harry could hear the monotonous tick-tock of the clock on the wall. "Well I just came to collect my things and then I'm leaving." Harry said as he rose from the couch.

The family he had once dreaded sat in stupefied silence. The Dursleys seemed so small and insignificant compared to his more important problems. He rushed upstairs to his room. He gathered his belongings from the bottom of his dresser drawers. He ripped his Quidditch posters off the wall. He scooped up his hidden cache of snacks from beneath the loose board. He collected all of his money and stuffed it into his messenger bag. He used a shrinking spell so his things would all fit in his bag and returned downstairs.

Harry and the Dursleys said their goodbyes and Dudley gave him his seven-year-old Gameboy as a "going away present". Harry thanked him and reminded himself to chuck it once he was out of Dudley's sight. He then made his way through the front door and left.

He must be dreaming. Where was the rejoicing? Where was the "Ding Dong Harry's Gone?" song coming from the house? Was that it? Harry peeked through the parlor window. He saw Dudley looking extremely pensive at the moment, as though he were trying to discover the meaning of life. "Good luck," Harry thought and chuckled. He saw his Uncle Vernon with the same thoughtful expression on his face, scanning the newspaper. Aunt Petunia had just walked in with their usual evening coffee. In the blink of an eye, Harry saw her wipe the corner of her eye with a tissue. Where these the same people who had made his life a living hell?

Harry stepped out onto the street and saw the Knight Bus arriving right on time. He boarded the bus and glanced for the last time at his former prison; then he gave the driver his money and started a new chapter in his life.

Dove Hollow was Harry's "in between" residence. It had taken him a month to get there. He had been hopping around from place to place. He'd avoided contact with people. He did see a lot of people he knew from Hogwarts though. He saw them but they didn't see him. It was mid-November when he arrived at Dove Hollow, a small wizarding hamlet. Harry decided he would stay there until Bill's and Fleur's wedding; then he would go to Godric's Hollow.

Dove Hollow didn't exactly make your eyes bulge out the way Diagon Alley did. In fact, it made them glaze over. Everything about the town was sort of hazy. When Harry first arrived he didn't exactly get to take it all in because he was rushing through the streets to find the "Cozy Dove Apartments".

After Dumbledore died, some members of the DA went into the Headmaster's office to gather up his belongings. Many of them could not even bear to see the kindly professor's office so they waited outside. Others were brave enough to venture inside but when they saw the empty chair, they were overcome with grief and left. Only Ron and Harry remained behind.

Harry had found a journal which said "Albus' Log of Amiable Places" on the cover. It seemed to be a sort of log of all the pubs and inns in which Dumbledore had enjoyed an invigorating firewhiskey or a pleasant nights rest. Harry stuck the book in his pocket; he thought it might be useful on his travels.

During the train ride home from Hogwarts, Harry read the log and under "D" he saw the town of Dove Hollow listed. Usually in the log, Dumbledore only referenced two or three places in each town. But, in this town, he mentioned over a dozen places. At the bottom of the entry he had written: "If one wanted to hide, Dove Hollow would be an ideal place in which to fade into the background..." Right after he read that sentence Harry developed a plan.

So here he was in Dove Hollow. He saw the "The Cozy Dove Apartments" directly ahead of him on the corner. It was a shabby grey colour and the blue neon sign was flickering out. Harry ran across the street and into the building like a little child running for base during a game of tag.

"Oh, 'ello, deary", said a scratchy voice. Harry did not see the woman until she popped up from behind the counter. She had grey hair shooting in all directions. Harry thought she looked as though she had taken a balloon and fuzzed up her hair with it. She had long green robes with outlines of Brussels sprouts on them. Apparently the person who made the robes forgot that Brussels sprouts are unappealing. The woman wore square glasses that were attached to a chain around her neck;and Harry could see a cage of doves behind her.

The woman spotted Harry eyeing the birds. "Oh those are doves - you know, like the name 'The Cozy Dove',"she said smiling. Harry thought they looked anything but cozy. They looked dirty, malnourished, and sad - not cozy. "Well anyway, I'm Louise, the landlady. Are you interested in an apartment?" **t**he woman asked grinning. "Yes, thank you" Harry replied.

The landlady put on her spectacles and stared down at an old ledger in which she recorded all of her apartment owners and other details.

"What is your name, young man?"

"...name?"

"Young man – your name, please?"

"...uhhh..."

"Peter..." said Harry, glancing at a magazine on a coffee table by the rotting couch in the foyer. The headline on the front cover said, "Peter Shepard: Noble or Not?" It would be too obvious to use "Shepard"... ah ha!

"Noble... my name is Peter Noble," Harry stated. He wiped the sweat off his hands onto his jeans. That was a close one! The landlady scribbled something in her ledger, said, "Welcome!," and handed him the key to room 7A.


	2. A Different Agony

1Chapter One

"A Different Agony"

"_Oh brawling love, oh loving hate_,

_Oh Anything of nothing first created._

_Oh heavy lightness, serious vanity,_

_misshapen chaos of well seeming forms!_

_Feather of lead, clear smoke, cold fire, sickly health, still-waking sleep!"_

**_-William Shakespeare _**describing love

Harry was sitting at his desk at The Cozy Dove Apartments, Apartment 7A. He was trying to write Ginny for the ninth time that week. He always stopped at "Dear Ginny". He didn't understand why it was so hard for him to just how she was. But maybe he did know. It was because he'd know it would be a lie. It would murder her with a quill and ink. _How are you?_ Instead of _I love you._ If he did ask her how she was doing she would reply _fine_ and she would be lying too.

It had been roughly a week since Harry had arrived in Dove Hollow. All he had thought of was Ginny. He had to remind himself to eat and force himself to sleep. But even after he closed his eyes, her image haunted him. What was this emotion that was engulfing him? It couldn't be love. Love is tender and makes you feel light and airy. This "different agony" couldn't possibly be love. It was frustrating and drove him mad. Yet it was painfully sweet. Also the question that ran through his head was, _Am I the only one feeling this way? _He thought that since he was feeling so miserable, shouldn't Ginny? Shouldn't Ginny be eating chocolate all day and writing girly poems about him?

The more Harry thought about it, that girl who spent her day crying all day in her bed over lost love, was not Ginny. Knowing Ginny, she was already dating some other guy. Scratch that, thought Harry, make that dating some other guy**s**. She was probably partying every night. He could almost hear her voice saying "Who needs Harry Potter, anyway? Who needs him?"

The bathroom door slammed on its own as Harry let his anger get the best of him again. "Mustn't think that,"he said to himself"I mustn't think that way about her. I trust her. Besides, Ron is watching her." Harry sat down his bed with his head in his hands. His isolation was starting to take a toll on his sanity. He missed people. He missed his friends and he missed Hogwarts. He wished Dumbledore was here with him guiding him on how to defeat Voldemort. It would keep him busy and he wouldn't be so lonely.

Hedwig came flying through his apartment window and landed on his desk. As he landed, papers which had been on the desk, flew up in the air and scattered all over the ground. Harry laughed at his pet and gave her a owl cracker. She chortled and nipped at his ear affectionately. Harry gathered up his papers and as he lifted his head, his saw the building across from the Cozy Dove. It was a dance studio. Girls of his age were leaning against a bar and lifting one of their legs up and down all at the same time. The all had the same outfit on. It was a black leotard and pink sashes around their waist.

He imagined Ginny was one of the girls. He imagined she was just a building apart from her. All the girls were now doing a dance. The were gracefully doing turns around the room.

A whip of black haired head. Wait a minute, was that? Harry moved in for a closer look. _Dammit!_ All the girls faced the other way as Harry craned to see her face. They turned back around and...it was her. Not Ginny. Not Hermione. Someone he thought he didn't want to see ever again. His heart leapt to the other building and danced with the girls.

Cho Chang.

For the first minute since he had came to Dove Hollow, his thoughts weren't on Ginny. The class was over but he was still staring at her. She was like he remembered her. She came closer to the window and Harry drew the blinds so that she could not see him. She let her hair down and patted her forehead with her towel. She was staring out the window, up towards the sky. She turned back around and put her coat on and left.

Just as she shut the door to leave, it began to snow.

About an hour later, Harry reads the note from Ron that Hedwig had delivered.

Dear Harry,

Everyone is going bonkers about this bloody wedding! Let's start at the root of the problem. Fleur has gotten her "mama" to come. She is horrible! She is supposed to be a world famous fashion designer. She has all of her bloody fabric and needles all around the house. Oh, and did I mention she is a nightmare? If you move one thing of her's she'll go ballistic on you and throw a fit. And then Fleur has to convince her to stay for the wedding and not to return to France. Oh and she eat twice what dad eats and then yells at mum for making her fat. Not that all the wedding stuff is enough but Hermione has been dropping hints about getting married ourselves! I don't know about you mate but Hermione and I's wedding is the farthest thing from my mind. Besides ,I think I have had enough wedding-talk to last me a life time!!!

Ron

P.S. Mum sends her love!

Harry chuckled when he heard Ron's description of pre-wedding chaos. Though Ron said life at the Burrow at this point was hell, Harry wished more than anything that he could be there. He wished he could be there with Ginny. He wished he could hold her for awhile, but nowadays, that was just to much to ask for.

Before Harry went to bed, he thought about Cho for a little bit. How she was, would she be there tomorrow, would she recognize him with his extra long bangs? Harry eyes started to close as he watched the falling snow outside his window.

(A/N: Hey guys! This is my first fic and I hope you like it! The chapters will get longer, I swear! Tell me what you think about it so far and how it can get better!)


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